51+ Best Doctor Puns and Funny Quotes

A doctor is an individual qualified with a medical degree who provides treatment to sick people. Share some humorous and hilarious doctor jokes with your family and companions to make them laugh for hours. Given below is a list of some funny doctor puns.

Doctor Puns and Funny Quotes

Why was it told by the doctor to the nurse not to change the position of the medicine closet variety?

So she won’t be able to rouse the sleeping medicines.

Patient: Doctor, a spoon is swallowed by me.

Doctor: Be seated and don’t change your position.

What separates a specialist and a general practitioner?

One provides you treatment with what you have, and another believes you have what he treats.

_Patient: Doctor I guess, I lost my eyesight and urgently need spectacle.

Teller: Yes, you clearly do. This is a financial institution.

_Doctor asked the nurse about the little kid’s health who gulped ten quarters previous evening.

Nurse: No recovery yet.

_Doctor: I have extremely terrible news. Patient needs immediate treatment of Alzheimer’s and cancer.

Patient: at least I don’t have malignancy.

_Doctor: There is some terrible information and some extremely terrible information.

Patient: Then, I want to hear the terrible information first.

_A lot of rash decisions made by one of my companions because he chose to be a dermatologist.

_A man visits a doctor and says “I am constantly noticing a werewolf, with gigantic and pointed teeth”. Then the doctor asked if he has ever seen a psychologist?” He answered nope, only a werewolf.

_A man visits a surgeon and explains how it aches whenever his neck, chest or his arm is touched by him. It is said by the doctor that his finger is broken.

_It was said by me to the doctor at the clinic that, “I continuously have a vision that my eyes alter its color”. He said It is only the color of my vision.

_A car was parked by my companion in a hospital car parking area. Helper appeared and said this is not for anyone except badge holders. My friend replied but I have got a terrible shoulder.

_I questioned a doctor if he had any treatment for my liver, he provided me with a half kg of onions.

_What was the reason of the doctor giggling at the X-ray of a leg?

Because it was humerus.

_Why does the contagious diseases zone of my local clinic have an incredible internet connection?

because there are a lot of hot spots.

_There is a zone in my local clinic where individuals read Auld Lang Syne and related poems with sincere and intense conviction.

_One of my dermatologist companions began his profession from scratch.

_What would a doctor who treats former fighters be called? A veteran-arian.

_It is said by my doctor that the reason of my backache is an organ that is affected by a virus.

_What kind of weapon a doctor likes the most?

A shotgun.

_What was the reason for Dalmatians visiting an eye doctor?

He was continuously seeing spots.

_What was said by the doctor to the weapon ship?

It’s time to give you a booster shot.

_What was said by one tonsil to another tonsil?

Put on your outfit — The doctor is about to remove us.

_Who would you contact first when there is an immediate necessity of a doctor?

The closest golf class.

_Why did the thick strong cord visit the doctor?

Because there was a tangle in its tummy.

_What was the reason of the bucket visiting the doctor?

The bucket had a pail complexion.

_What would a doctor who fixes down websites be called?

A URL-ologist.

_Why did the vampire visit the doctor?

He was continuously coffined.

_Where do ill ships visit to get treatment?

To the dock.

_What is the secret of the calmness of a doctor?

Doctors have a lot of patients.

_Why did the automatic device visit the doctor?

Because it had a virus.

_How was the invisible man cured by the doctor?

He was taken by the doctor to the ICU.

_What can be the best soon to be hidden from a doctor?

An apple orchard.

Doctor Puns and Funny Quotes

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